Well folks, something is definitely going on Someone or something has stolen my waist. I had a nice small waist and I've just noticed it's goneI seem to have been pumped full of some sort of heavy stew made of sqashy golf balls and just to creep me out even more, the golf balls move!!!! I'm having some hair loss iissues with my belly, as if the loss of waist was not enough I'm now getting baldy I heard a rumour my boyfriend is going to visit me, strange how I used to fancy him SOOOOOOO much, but now I don't think I want to see him again. I don't even like Bella that much now, I mean we were never very close, but now I don't even like her coming in to the house. Bess is ok, although she does look at me funny sometimes.





My mum always told me to watch out for changes in the behaviour of your 'two legs' My woman 'two legs' is definately behaving strangely. I was told that if the man 'two legs' disappears and the lady 'two legs' starts watching mushy films and eating sweets, you are in for the time of your life. Not only will you only have one set of 'two legs' to train, but she will do anything you want and let you away with murder. Worst thing that can happen is the lady 'two legs' putting on weight and decorating the house, this can result in the arrival of a baby 'two legs' and your bum will be out the window for years. My lady 'two legs' has not shown any sign of these scenarios although she's been putting on weight for ages, there's no sign of a baby!!, however she has built a sort of bottomless boat thing in the sunroom I'm not sure if it's a project for her work, but she's built it round MY bed and it takes up half the sunroom. Man 'two legs' keeps asking if it has to be so big, I don't know why he's bothered, it's no where near his bed. The good news is that gran is coming to stay in a week or so and she's NOT bringing the yappy Tibetan terrier so I can expect to be spoilt all day every day.
Well I'm off to look for my waist and adjust my golf balls, I'll keep you posted on the boat thing