Heartbreaking

sofi · Graduate

Heartbreaking

mclarchitects · Old Hand

Lorraine,

There are many of us who have lost dogs for one reason or another. I have had to have 2 PTS in my arms and I too was heartbroken.

I don't know your circumstances but I would say that you have obviously made the right descision for both you and Sofi.

I hope things work out for you and that you get to see Sofi at some of the GAL events.

Alan.

MojoTilly · Master

Hi Lorraine - -

You must be going through a really hard time and I really feel for you. I used to work at a rescue centre and often dealt with owners who were bringing their pets in to be rehomed. These people could so obviously be divided into two groups: those who were giving up their pet lightly because they couldn't be bothered with it any more (hard to believe, I know, but although they may not have said as much it was perfectly obvious) and those who physically could not keep the animal any longer either because of personal reasons or because of the animal itself. It was so often evident that, for the people in the second group, this was the hardest decision they have ever had to make. I dried up many tears during my time there and did my best to comfort those who needed it.

At the end of the day, owning any animal is a long term commitment - especially an animal such as a dog which can be for 16 years or longer. I am sure that no-one ever sets out and takes on an animal with the intention that they will give it up after a few years. No-one (even the best psychics) can predict what will happen the next day, let alone over the next ten-or-so years and sometimes things happen or life takes a turn which means it is just not possible to keep that animal. It must be a terrible decision to have to make but that is just one of the reasons that organisations such as GAL exist: to ensure that there is somewhere for the animal to go and be cared for when such a thing happens.

If you were no longer able to keep Sofi you have done exactly the right thing. With GAL she will have a loving foster home and will then find a fantastic home where she will be adored. GAL are so careful with their rehoming procedures that you can be sure her new home will be the sort of home you would want for her.

We met Sofi at the Holyrood walk a few weeks ago and she was adorable. I am sure that it will not be long before someone falls for her!

We lost our last dog to cancer almost exactly a year ago and, although obviously very different circumstances, I can really understand the "ache" you are experiencing - as I'm sure can everyone else who's ever lost a pet. It is a sign that you are the best sort of dog owner their is - one who really loves their dog and would do anything for them. I am sure that you have done the best thing for Sofi.

Take care, and chin up! Hope you will still come along to the GAL walks.

Christine Young · GAL Newsletter Editor

Hi Lorraine

I echo what Alan and MojoTilly say. I don't know the reasons for making the very hard decision you've had to make, but it has been the right decision for you and Sofi. I know how you must be feeling as I too lost a well-loved pet, but not in the same way. Take heart that you did the very best you could for her and now GAL will find her a wonderful new home.

It's great that you'll still help GAL fundraise so you'll be keeping in touch with all that's going on. Hope to catch up with you at some of the GAL events!

Thinking of you just now.

Christine

max · Enlightened One

I am with you then and with you now. I will echo what has been said before me and you know what is in your heart and what is right for Sofi. Be strong and remember we are all here when you want to talk. Your Friend Nora

RhonaW · Master

Lorraine,

Try not to be too hard on yourself. We have also had to give up dogs in the past and I know it wrenches your heart out.

That's the really good thing about being involved with GAL - you get lots of support when you really need it.

Please don't give up on our walks though - it would be really nice to see you from time to time.

Rhona

yvonne · Master

Being a good and responsible owner is knowing what is best for your pet and having the courage and strength to carry that out.

Whether it be making the decision to have them PTS or, like your own situation,signing them over to a responsible charity like GAL, because you know you are no longer in a position to care for them in a way you feel they should be cared for.

I applaud you for putting Sofi first and having the courage to make what is obviously a heartbreaking decision. With GAL she will be homed responsibly and the more you learn about GAL through the forum, hopefully your mind will be put at rest that is the case.

I hope your pain will ease quickly. My thoughts are with you.

Yvonne

doggymental · Old Hand

I had tears in my eyes reading your post. I don't know what your circumstances are but no one knows what lies ahead and how much life can drastically change in a short space of time. I'm sure you've done the right thing for Sofi and yourself and I'm sure GAL will find her a loving home.

Take Care, Louise

Teresa · Enlightened One

Lorraine, I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling - i am crying as i write this. all i can say is that you have done the most selfless thing anyone could do for their beloved dog and i'd like to think i could be as strong if i needed to..... tho i doubt that very much.

may i wish you the very best of luck for the future - hoping your situation changes for the better and that you recover in whatever way you need to.

much love from teresa, xxx

Suzanne · Guru

"My personal trails have also taught me the value of unmerited suffering. As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation, which now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Lorraine, I know you are suffering now, deeply. You have made the bravest decision you will probably ever have to make in your life...it really is the right one for both you & Sofi. She will never forget you, nor you her. You are a wonderful person, capture the strength you needed to hand Sofi over to GAL & use it to move on & make the very best of your life - for Sofi, but more importantly, for you!

My thoughts are with you honey, your friend, Suzanne xx

FAJ · Enlightened One

Lorraine, you've been incredily brave in putting Sofi first. I admire your courage immensely and wish both you and Sofi all good things for the future.

Fiona

Kathye · Old Hand

I wrote a great long answer to this on Tuesday only to have it get lost in the board maintenance That and all my answers to many other threads also.

I can't come up with those words again so I shall simply echo as other's have, I admire your courage in doing what you came to know was best for your beloved Sofi even though I know it has broken your heart. That is a sign of real love, to know when you have to let go.

I hope when you feel able to, you will still join us on the walks. I would love to see you and I know Daz would always welcome some extra cuddles.

Take care during what I know must be a very hard time for you right now.

Kathy

sofi · Graduate

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied so far.I am so touched by all your words.I am now in counselling and therapy to help me try to get thourgh what i feel i've done to Sofi and help me to live with knowing she is out there somewhere and alive and i am not there to look after her or know where she is.Sofi's presence in my life kept me safe and now i am alone and feel very unsafe.I've read and re-read all your replies and have also printed them off so i can read them at home when i feel i need to too.You have all helped me so much.Love to all and their doggies

MojoTilly · Master

Lorraine -

You shouldn't blame yourself for giving up Sofi, by the sound of it it was not a decision that you took lightly. It is obviously the right thing for both you and Sofi right now. It is such a brave thing that you have done and a lot of people will respect you a great deal for doing the right thing for you and Sofi however hard that may have been. Wherever Sofi ends up she'll be much loved and cared for in the best possible way - GAL will ensure that she gets the best posssible home. She'll always be part of your heart and am sure she'll thank you and forgive you for doing the best thing for her. If we see her on any of the GAL walks we'll be sure to pass on your love and am sure Tilly will give her a lick. I know it's an extremely hard time for you right now but you're getting the help that you feel you need and i'm sure everyone on the forum is thinking of both you and Sofi right now. You'll get through this.

Take care.

-- Edited by MojoTilly at 15:13, 2006-04-21

max · Enlightened One

Lorraine please do not say " what you feel you,ve done to Sofi " YOU gave her the best, happiest and loved two years of her life. You have now given someone else the privilege and honour of getting to know Sofi, some one who may be needing love and feeling wanted, so do not look at things as if it is the end, it is a new begining and let Sofi be your Ambassador to this testimonial of what a wonderful dog you have raised and let her get on with her new job and be happy for her. What you did was a selfless act of love, no more no less. Prove to Sofi how strong you are and look forward not back and in time there may not be another Sofi, but someone or something that you can channel your care and love. Your Friend Nora.

mabel · Graduate

Oh Lorraine, that is so awful that you felt like the only option for you and Sofi was to give her up. I am wondering why or if no one in GAL could help you to keep your dog and help you to look after her. Did you try? If you feel up to it, reply to me. I know i am a total stranger but you need alot of help and support luvvie. I am only new to this forum and i wish i had known of what was happening as i would have tried to help you keep her. I can see how much you love Sofi by what you wrote and that you are destroyed without her. I'm thinking of you and here for you. Much love, Mabel xx

glendy · Master

Hi mabel

Welcome to the GAL Forum.

This is indeed a very sad situation, one which GAL has comes across before and one which we were aware needed to be handled with some sensitivity. GAL's ultimate aim in these matters is to ensure the best outcome for the dog involved and we decide how best to achieve that with the owner's input. We were especially aware of the effect this would have on Lorraine as she and Sofi had become regulars at GAL events.

Everyone at GAL wishes Lorraine the best and truly hopes that she can come to accept that she acted selflessly and in Sofi's best interests.

I'm really pleased to see so much support for Lorraine. I hope this thread has helped bring some closure.

Dave · Enlightened One

Just to let you all know that Sofi has really settled well into her new GAL foster home, she's made a few new friends and is turning into a real nice well rounded wee dog. Hopefully won't be too long before she can continue her journey to a new family.

max · Enlightened One

So happy to hear that Dave, knew she would settle well, she is a lovely dog and very friendly.

Nora

Teresa · Enlightened One

Thank you for the update, Dave, it is most welcome. Sofi must be a great dog to have settled so well, so quickly - Lorraine must have done well with her xxxxxx

MojoTilly · Master

Thanks Dave for letting us all know how well Sofi is doing in her foster home. She's such a lovely dog and it's great to hear she's been making new friends and settling in well. It must be a huge relief for Lorraine.

Hope she continues to do well and finds her forever home soon.

mabel · Graduate

Lorraine i am still thinking of you as i am sure many others are. You are not alone