Ralph looks lovely and the spitting image of my great uncles parrot Pablo. Pablo used to do a brilliant fake cough until he was given a nip of whisky from a teaspoon! Has Ralph got any favorite tricks?

African Grey parrots all look identical, so Amanda, Pablo must be an African Grey too - unless he has a brown tail instead of bright red, in which case he is a Timneh Grey.

Funnily enough, Ralf's first owner was a very gruff old man, who smoked and drank heavily, and Ralf had a terrible "smoker's cough" when I got him - and that's just the tip of the iceberg! He used to do a rasping, chesty cough, then the sound of someone gulping down tea, make an "aaahhh!" sound, then do the sound of the cup chinking against the saucer again!!! Totally gross, especially when he abbreviated it to just a phlegmy cough followed by a loud gulp...

Thesedays the worst he does is chatter away VERY LOUDLY when I'm on the phone. Many times I've had the bank/my solicitor/sales reps, etc. tell me that they think they can hear someone shouting on me as my deranged parrot shouts "hey you! good bo-oy." in the background. And of course, he puffs himself up when someone new comes into the room, strutting about and whistling to lure them over, only to turn his back on them when they get close and slowly strut away, casting them a sideward glance of disgust as he creeps off to the other end of his cage.

All good fun, but the funniest thing is still the fact that my youngest Cockatiel fancies Ralf and constantly chats him up, despite the fact that Ralf wants to kill him...